Evaluate the integral

would it hurt much?

if time was to repeat all things i wanted to forget

& the pain did not stop for even a moment

if the future as planned never took shape

& the scar remained forever

would it be worth?

all the laughter that came

& the tears it made you forget never existed

all the dreams came true

& those were really not your own

would it leave a scar?

if it hurt you in the place

the same place you already had one

to cut again

what had never healed

would it be bad?

if what was different

was suddenly all alike

if all that was hurting

vanished within the moment

would it not be nice?

if all things good never ended

square route

five things to make you hate me much less:

> the scar on the face...
> the raised brow...
> the loud laughter...
> the silent sobs...
>

+24

in the sighs of slience

we stood in the green fields once

the flickering closed fists

wound around the drenched blossoms

the dew closed in on the broken wings



in the moments of closed winds

the thought does ponder

where blossoms were to end

never in another form but tired breaths



every folding finger traces

solely just the flying birds

enclosing all it can

of the flickers

in the corner of that smile



broken wings: so a stone will tell

flying birds: to a sorrow not less

sighs: in the moments to come

flickers: every action already done

green fields: the joy of being itself

goodbye: sighs of flying birds

closed fist: holding the meaning of words being said

blossoms: to wait for the moments here now

things I lost in the Fire

1. Pictures of you... the ones i never had.




2. Pictures of us... the us that never existed, the pictures which just could not be.




3. Letters you wrote... it was never like you to write any letters to me.




4. Gifts you gave... even those that were never delievered.




5. Flowers... the ones you never gave but i dried nonetheless.




6. A pen... you used for writing me the now charred letters.




7. A pillow... the one which you once rested your head on.




8. A watch... the one that clocked only the time we spent apart.




9. A chair... the one i am sitting on.




10. Memories... of everything you ever said to me and the ones you never mentioned.




11. me... for how could i be without everything that i was?

the power rule

i am:
the fear in the darkness
the remainder of what was lost
the bridge to righteousness
the depth in the shortness
the wind that brings frost
the knowledge in insanity
the dream that you lost

i am:
the one you fear most
the mind behind the genius
the scar that creates beauty
the moment of blasphemy
the color that shines brightly
the one you should'nt trust
the helen of troy

i am:
the call of the wild
the murder that was commited
the person where the search begins
the moment that breaks heroes
the reason you seek
the water that erodes
the chair that creeks

i am:
all that you ve always dreamt
the joy when you re free
the lies you never told
the path you tread on
the beat of your heart
the hill you just hiked
the reason you ve survived

i am:
the idea behind the lie
the answer of the why
the 5 on the die
the crease of the knot
the one who flew over the cuckoo's nest
the last tear in your eye
dominique of ayn rand

table of derivatives

On a lonely Monday morning if someone walks by your window…
Searching for me…
My name is devotion…

When I come to you, dusk, and when I abandon, call me dawn…
On a winter noon, if it snows…
Imprint… my name prayer…

On a fall evening…
To brighten life, you arrived…
When you laugh, the rising sun…
When you hug, the colorful rainbow…
Sit close by me, when the day arrives…
Kiss a golden sunshine …
I ll carry the warmth, they ll be colors all around me…
Call me gratitude…

On a spring morning…
You arrived…
With hope, help me weave the garlands…
Changing the dead thuds with musical greetings…
My name is surprise…

On a busy Saturday afternoon…
When you arrived, surprised…
When you hugged…
Call me love…

On a Saturday evening…
I have you…
Recognize me, I am today…
Call me thankful…

On a sleepy Monday morning…
The day breaks the deadbeats of the night,
You wake me and bring me a smile,
Your voice, solace…
My silence, submission…
Call me yours.

the quotient rule

On a shooting star i wish everyday,
that please let tomorrow be unlike today,
let tomorrow be a better day, let me have my own way,
in my life- a little of my own say,
but,
when my wish comes true at the end of that day,
i wish again-god,
please let tomorrow be unlike today,
for once lead me the correct way,
teach me to overcome dismay,
give me the patience to enjoy sun's each ray,
and when i come to end this day,
let-oh! please let there be no tomorrow to call... today...

implicit differentiation

I haven't seen you,
i have felt you...deep in my soul....
you have struck the chords of my heart...
whenever i have met you...
its like waking up from a dream...
reach me someday and make this fantasy a reality,
and if not, then harden these tears that incessantly flow,
oh please shower some rain on the dying desert rose...

parametric differentiation

This is: a dream,
a fantasy,
a waste.

here,
what is true ?
-and not?

the heart lead,
what i could-i did,
wrong or correct,
maybe someday i will....think.

when the drop fell,
on the hardened lips,
the heart--it felt,
it whispered...

what?

this: is a dream, a fantasy, a waste.

here,
what is true?
-and not?

all is...real!

the chain rule

Walking away ...with whatever is left
the remaining pride and Honor, have kept
the tears in the corners of my eyes, haven't yet wept
the thoughts of yesterday,haven't yet left...

walking away...with whatever i brought
the happiness... you gave to me and i to you,
the laughter...we shared,
the sorrows...we grieved,
of lost loves and forgotten friends...
its a habit i have formed.

so walking away...this time it should be easy...
like i have been running away from all...
turning away from reality...
remaining in love,is a concept completely lost.

every moment, movement...
maybe you are back...the sun shines behind me...
and i am staring into shadows...
carrying on...

walking away...
things slipping off...time flies by,
and then the time stands still,
and everything is a reminder...
the darkness of night,
the raindrops that fall,
the sun after a shower,
the chill in the wind,
the solitude of my room,
the people i know,
the words that i speak,
the voices that i hear,
the meaning of words,
the breath that i take,
the mirror i stare into,
everything.

walking away...from all this and more.

forever and a day.

maxima and minima

hopelessly as i tried to undo the wounds...
thousands of promises and tantrums...
you drifted away oblivious of all...
leaving only the echo of my voice to reach back to me...
how can i hope for the past to return back...
for time to turn back...
time passes by, days are gone too,
months creep off, years crawl away too,
what is left behind are the feelings left misunderstood,
and heads bowed in your love...
waiting for the leaves on the path to rustle...
the tapping of your footsteps...
returning back to me...